Rush3rd's blog

Justifying Lies

I don't see how some people can get up every morning and look at themselves as an active member of the human race.

My new sweet tooth obsession

Oh man. If you love licorice, you gotta try this stuff.  Wow, it's so good.

I Love You Black Licorice

It's sooooo good.  Man.  And if you don't like licorice flavor (and tons of people don't), they have strawberry too.  It's different because it's really soft... kind of the consistency of a Tootsie Roll.  I got it at Target.

Hallelujah

VERSE 1

Now I've heard there was a secret chord

That David played, and it pleased the Lord

But you don't really care for music, do you?

It goes like this - the fourth , the fifth

The minor fall, a major lift

The baffled king composing Hallelujah

CHORUS

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

 

VERSE 2

Your faith was strong but you needed proof

You saw her bathing on the roof

Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you

She tied you to the kitchen chair

She broke your throne, she cut your hair

And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

CHORUS

 

VERSE 3

Baby I've been here before

I've seen this room, I've walked this floor

I used to live alone before I knew you

I've seen your flag on the marble arch

Love is not a victory march

It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

 

CHORUS

 

VERSE 4

There was a time you'd let me know

What's really going on below

But now you never show it to me, do you?

Remember when I moved in you

The Holy dark was moving too

And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

CHORUS

 

VERSE 5

Maybe there's a God above

But all I've ever learned from love

Was how to shoot somebody who out drew you

It's not a cry that you hear at night

It's not somebody who's seen the light

It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

 

CHORUS

And The World Spins Madly On

I really dunno how to shake this feeling.  There's a girl I knew who is really now no more than a ghost of a memory, but I just can't seem to shake it.  It's a horrible empty feeling to have loved someone so completely and for so long and have a million reasons why it couldn't or shouldn't work out, but wanting that more than anything.

I really haven't blogged in a while.  Partially I fell out of love with the whole process, but mostly I felt I didn't have anything constructive to say.  I can't promise that I do even now, but I've got a lot of it to say, so here it goes...

I still love her.  I'm really pretty sure at this point that I always will.  Why I loved her was a myriad of reasons that I can't even begin to enumerate, but I guess when I really sit and think about it, it had a lot to do with the fact that she was there for me.  In a lot of hard times and troubles, she was always there as a rock to lean on... an island in the storm.  A harbor in the tempest.  She was there when I was tired or lonely or scared and someone to rely on when I felt lost and alone.  What's more, I felt like I could offer the same.  I kept her from being lonely.  I tried to help her through the hard times and wanted nothing more than to be there for her and guide her past her own doubt and fears.

But life isn't always easy.  Troubles appeared, as they often do, and weighed us both down and filled our hearts with anger and jealousy and mistrust.  It amplified problems that existed and twisted everything in on itself.  It damaged everything to the point that there really was no peaceful way out of the situation and it destroyed the good things that we had spent so long building up.  The hopes, the dreams, the plans for a happy future - dashed on the rocky shoreline.

I've spent a good portion of my life a stubborn and opinionated person.  I've lost a lot of really good things in life because of it, but the one thing I miss more than anything that I've lost completely, is her.  Even to this day there is so much love in my heart for her, that I sometimes am not even sure how to process it all.  It wasn't about me and what I wanted... it wasn't even fully about us... it was about her.  She was the love of my life and I just can't seem to get over the fact that I've lost her completely and forever.  It will likely haunt me forever until my final days.

I know you'll never read this, but I love you. I really and truly do.

Change Your Mind

Change Your Mind - [Listen Now] **

Bob Schneider (ft. Patty Griffin)

** I recommend hitting stop on the YouTube and play up by the song title for a better audio-only version

What's so funny is nobody's laughing 

At this change of heart you're having. 

What's so funny is I'm filled up with thunder, 

But I can't seem to get out from under, 

All these stones you tied to my chest. 

I can't change your mind. 
I can't change your mind. 

What's so funny is I'm scared and lonely, 

And I don't think that I'm the only one 

As I watch you drive away. 

And what's so funny is the birds are singing, 

Sun shining, and bells are ringing 

And I'm thinking, "What happened here?" 

And I can't change your mind. 
And I can't change your mind. 
And I can't change your mind. 
And I can't change your mind. 

There's a chapel in Minneapolis 

And it holds the bones of a dead saint in it the stain glass 

Glows from the ceiling there, and reminds me of the feeling where 

I first looked into your eyes, 

And saw the most beautiful birds fly 

Strait into the sun, their wings on fire, the deed was done. 

Oh and I can't change your mind. 
I can't change your mind. 

I can't change your mind. 
I can't change your mind. 

Whats so funny is this piece of skin, 

The one on my arm with your name inked in. 

What was I thinking? 

But what's so funny is the way things go down. 

Like when a star dies it doesn't make a single sound. 

It's just gone, you can't find it when you look into the sky. 

And I can't change your mind. 
And I can't change your mind. 

I can't change your mind. 
I can't change your mind. 
I can't change your mind. 
I can't change your mind. 
I can't change your mind. 
I can't do it. 

There's a werewolf out on my 

Front lawn and he's looking pissed off 

And he's wet from all the rain. 

I think I'll go say hi, and offer him a beer...

Poemetric

We twist in a torrent of unrequented what ifs
A maze of scattered straight lines
among crooked paths
Bound in our boundlessness,
Hopeful amidst hopelessness.
Feverish in our past impoverishment
Hungry for a banquet of scraps previously discarded.

Party Over Here

Had a really nice day today.  Today was my nephew's birthday party and we had cake and ice cream and chips and dip.  Then, after the party was over, we went to the church community carnival with water slides, a slip-n-slide and all kinds of free snacks - hotdogs, popcorn, snowcones and cotton candy.  It was a LOT of fun and I'm absolutely worn out. The amount of kids running around all cracked-out on sugar was unbelievable.  I didn't plan on getting wet, but left the place absolutely soaked.  There were kids with waterguns, waterbombs, and a million splashing pools and stuff... I was SOAKED before I left the place.  And stuffed with junk food of all kinds. =P  Good times, good times.

Who Let HIM In??

The new catchphrase now when someone dies is "They opened the door for people like Obama".  That seems to be some type of backhanded compliment.  First it was Michael Jackson.  Reverend Al "Sir Rhymes-a-lot" Sharpton said that he paved the way for people like Oprah and Obama, and performed more miracles in his lifetime than Jesus Christ of Nazareth.  Okay, he didn't say that last part, but he might as well have said it.

Now that Senator Ted Kennedy had shuffled off this mortal coil, this d-bag is saying that his immigrant heritage led to a diversity that made possible the election of Obama.  Oh, right.  Sure.  I bet that's what did it.  It was a complex puzzle of dominos like Michael Jackson and Ted Kennedy that got Obama into office and had absolutely nothing to do with just throwing out some smiling jackass to make Socialism look cool and hip.  Whatever.

Man I really would like to meet the person who left the door open for Obama so I could punch them in the teeth.  Proof positive that if you leave your doors open, just any old riff-raff will stumble in.

Back On Top

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm moving back on top again.  I let a lot of things in my life mess me up to the point where I really wasn't even the same person anymore, but that's not anything I want to be.  It's time to have real and meaningful things in my life.  Time to move in new directions, expand my horizons, enhance my goals, strengthen my weaknesses and increase my skills.  A new day is dawning and I can feel the winds of chance rustling beneath me.  Like a phoenix I will rise from the ashes and put right what once went wrong.

I put so much time and effort into careless things that weren't real and weren't positive things for my life and because of it I've slipped into a deep hole of debt, depression and confusion, but the veil is lifted.  God has shown me a new pathway and illuminated all the darkness that was left in my life.  I see the past as what it was, I see the truth for what it was, I know now the way things really were and I see clearly the way they're going to be.  This truly is the day that the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it.

I am a good person in my heart and soul and it's been so long since I felt my own worth that it's a wonderful thing to start to feel worth something again.  God be praised.

Cool Site From Rainn Wilson

http://www.soulpancake.com/

Good stuff there.  Lots of good questions and answers.